MIL = Monster in law

"The importance of grandmothers in the lives of their grandchildren is underlined in a study published today.

But the research showed that it was only granddaughters who were likely to do better with their paternal grandmothers involved in their early lives. In contrast, the presence of paternal grandmothers had a detrimental effect on the survival of their grandsons."

(The above was quoted from an online article in "The Independent". )

Thank Goodness, Gerard is going to be enrolled into a childcare centre soon!

How should I put it? It's been almost 7 years since I became a DIL but the relationship with my MIL has become more complicated in the recent years, to be exact, after Gerard was born. In the past, although she never made it to the "People whom I love" list, she was not in my list for the other extreme of love. However, perhaps I have become more daring and did not hold my tongue when I was supposed to, the conflicts we have had made her number 1 in my the other list.

Nowadays, her presence makes me feel uncomfortable, her voice makes me feel that my ears have been pierced. I used to throw a tantrum at my husband - her son, whenever my emotions were attacked by her tactlessness. However, "Blood is thicker than water" and this saying perfectly describes the result I got so I need not say more. As time goes by, I learn to play smart. Unless absolutely necessary to rebute, I take a deep breath whenever I hear her barking. Then I will find a suitable opportunity to recount the incident to my husband. Although I still may not get the support which I yearn for, I get heard better and there is lesser tears being shed.

The only saving grace for our relationship is her love for my children. While this trait opens up a whole new chapter about "grandparent spoiling the grandchildren", which if I quote all the examples, I can probably write a book, I choose to overlook it and reason to myself that spoiling is better than abusing.

Since her image keeps appearing in my mind when I am writing this entry, I think I have to stop here or I may just throw my monitor out of the window now!

Bitter Sweet Symphony

SWEET:
Time flew by so quickly and before I realised it, my daughter is almost 3 months old. Sim Gretchen is her name and the moment my gynae put her in my arms in the labour room, I fell in love with her. I used to wonder how I should divide my love between Gerard and Gretchen because before Gretchen came into my world, Gerard owned it. However when I held Gretchen for the first time, I just knew the answer; I don't have to divide, the amount of love has simply multiplied!

Gretchen is an angel. Initially, she slept a lot but yet knew when it was time for her to drink milk. Everyday she would drift in and out of sleep and seem oblivious to her surrounding. We had a lot of visitors in the first two weeks when she arrived home but all the cooings by my friends and relatives never seem to bother her. The only complaint I had about her was she took ages to finish a bottle of milk.

As time goes by, I began to get accustomed to her routine. In addition, my mum came to the rescue and took over most of the care-giving job. Day by day, she grew into a more active baby. She enjoys company and loves to smile. She is generally a very pleasant baby who seldom cries. Maybe I am stereotyping but somehow, she just makes me feel that she is so fragile and needs my protection. So we stay at home most of the days in an attempt to keep her away from the crowd and viruses.

BITTER:
As for Gerard, he is with his grandparents on weekdays and I reckon he's been spoilt to bits, for he gets very rebellious and willful these days. His grandparents probably give in to him all his requests and therefore he expects the same at home (which is NEVER going to happen). Therefore everyday he gives a wide grin when he sees his grandparents at the door. At night when they send him back, he refuses to them leave. Although it is not unusual for grandparents to spoil their grandchildren, I take it to heart a lot because it gives us a harder time to discipline him. A vicious cycle emerges when the more we discipline him, the more he dislikes to come home. I hope he gets a place at the childcare soon so that this wild horse can be tamed.

BITTER & SWEET:
Two more months and I will rejoin the workforce. I have mixed feelings about becoming a working mother, because while I will be financially independent again, I have to give up spending time with my children. Sometimes I wonder if this is a worthwhile sacrifice but then again, I will never know the answer if I do not try.