If only I could turn back time

After a stressful evening of listening to Gerard's incessant crying last night, I wished there was a machine that could turn back time, and it could take me back to HongKong, where Ed and I would take a minibus after dinner and roam the streets. Back then, I did not have to wake up at night because I heard my son coughing and worried if he was cold. I did not have to care about the cleanliness of my apartment because there was no baby crawling on the floor. I could leave my candles and magazines everywhere because no one would think those things are edible. I enjoyed cooking because Ed would eat everything and told me they were delicious. I hate the way life has planned out for me now; stay at home to look after a baby. Then I told myself I did not like my baby anymore and hoped this was all a dream.

This morning when I woke up, the baby whom I "disliked" yesterday gave me a wide smile. When I reciprocated, he crawled towards me and put his head on my chest. I said "kiss mummy" and he leaned his face towards mine, not kissing me but waiting for me to kiss him. Instantly, I regretted having those negative feelings. Gerard is again, "the cutest baby in the world!", well in my world at least.